I have been a San Francisco Giants fan for as long as I can remember. I remember the days of Willies Mays and McCovey., through the John Montefusco and Mike Ivy years. To Will Clark and the magical middle of Robbie Thompson and Jose Uribe. Then the glory years of Madbum, Buster, and Timmy. But this season has been unlike any other.

I’m not talking about the losses. The mid-1980’s when they went from worst to first. The worst was a 100 game losing season. But the fans could still find something to hang their black and orange hats on. It was how genuine the teams were. They were TEAMS. Even with Mike Ivy getting into a fight in the locker room with another player didn’t dull fan enthusiasm. Going to Candlestick to watch a game severely tested even the most diehard fans, but that was the park, not the team. The seasons of sold-out games at the downtown stadium proved that.

But this year is something else. The players don’t attack the game with anything that looks the fire of pride. We have enormous talent, but you wouldn’t know it to watch them. Nine innings of warmups, that’s how it feels sitting in the stands. These guys just don’t care enough to show us their best stuff.

Pride Night was the indicator that something has gone very wrong in the clubhouse. The Giants were the first MLB team to acknowledge and support a community that was being decimated by the AIDS crisis because it was their community. I’m sure there were players who were not allies to the gay community, but those players chose silence as their form of disagreement. Because whatever city hosts a MLB team, there are idiosyncratic aspects for each of them. Inclusion is San Francisco’s.

This does not come as a surprise to anyone. Signing a contract to play in SF means understanding that it is a city of inclusion and Pride. The players who attempted to highjack the message of Pride Day did so with the understanding that they were causing pain and creating anger in their fan base. They didn’t care. And team leadership did not insist they practice a silent disagreement. They allowed the desecration of a message of kindness and freedom.

The problem rolled into a player refusing to do his job, which is play with the whole team in mind, and not just personal stats. And the fact that he felt it was within his rights as a player on the field with other players to insist on having it his way tells us more about the clubhouse chaos. Vitello and Posey haves lost control of this team. I don’t know if it’s because they are both in over their heads or if they simply don’t care either.

In the end the why doesn’t matter. Also in the end, I will be rooting for them from now until forever. But I will also know this team are all playing for the name on the back instead of the team on the front.