I have often found myself wondering where the line is between resignation and acceptance. Ultimately the end result is the same between the two, but how it is reached is markedly different. One is the high road with clear visibility and the other goes through the dark undergrowth of festering weeds.

The definition of resignation: the acceptance of something undesirable but inevitable. The definition of acceptance: the action to undertake or receive something offered.

Just to put these thoughts into context; I was seriously injured in a workplace accident over two years ago. Every attempt to return to work has been marked by measured difficulty to do my job. While a final determination hasn’t been made, it is beginning to look like I am going to lose my position. In fairness to my employer, I feel I need to acknowledge that they have gone above and beyond to figure out how to keep me in that position while adhering to the standards of their workplace insurance requirements.

That is the path my mind took to wondering about resignation as opposed to acceptance. I have permanent damage stemming directly from the accident. It is that damage that has put me in the position of losing my job.

The head of HR at the company I worked for, pulled in outside evaluators to determine what my abilities are within the scope of my job. I was not evaluated; the tools I must use to perform certain tasks were being studied. The fact that I haven’t yet been told of the results tells me that my employer believes those tasks are now beyond my abilities.

I have long resigned myself to never being able to do some of the things I could do before the evening of February 12, 2024. I was an avid softball player and occasional tennis player. I would often just run through the grass field near my house simply because I could. Those activities are now in my rearview mirror. I also resigned myself to the idea that my lifting capabilities were somewhat more limited. But I do not accept just what those limits are.

To accept them would be to give an outsider’s perspective more value than I give my own. As I said, I have not been evaluated for my current abilities to do my job. A doctor has diagnosed me, and the insurance company took that as gospel and gave it to my employer to qualify my continued usefulness.

My own activities outside of work are all I need to know I completely capable of doing my job. Running or quick movements are not anywhere in the job description. Outside of those abilities, I am who I was before the gate came down on me.

I know who I am and accept myself on the same terms I always have. But it is resignation to allow that that is not the same person others see.