The relationship I share with my employer is fundamentally one of economics. They pay me to dedicate some of my personal energy for the benefit of their bottom line. If I am not successful enough to earn them the amount of money they have deemed my efforts to be worth, then I will no longer be paid for that energy. It is purely a financial arrangement.

It is a relationship that both sides must agree to for the basic premise to survive in the long term, or whatever the length of the agreement. There are many variables that modify the edges of the agreement, but the basic premise remains unaltered. Money.

My employers present themselves as good, kind-hearted people. I say present themselves because I don’t know them beyond the confines of how we interact at work, and the environment they create. I work at a company that is well aligned with my values about the earth and her resources. That is the only clear common ground beyond the duel financial benefits.

I sustained a serious injury while at work two years ago. For the past 25 months, I have been either on limited duty or not working at all, with the exception of a small window when I attempted to return to work with no restrictions. The doctor, my employer, the insurance company, and myself all agreed that I would still needed more time to recuperate. While I was unable to work, HR kept in touch with periodic “check-ins,” or I should say, I kept in touch with them. None of those were paid time.

Company policy changed in those two years that limited access to company emails only be accessible from company computers. Meaning, if you were nor assigned a laptop, access would only be through a computer onsite. Since I was not on site, I had no access. I was not held responsible for the lack of knowledge of any particular aspect, but neither was I kept informed. Our financial agreement was failing.

During those conversations with HR, I was constantly reminded of the familial aspect of my involvement with the company. To be completely honest, the company had shown an incredible amount of patience as I navigated my way back to health. But at the same time, they made no independent effort to include on any more than a superficial level.

That is where the immorality of workplace “family” trope is on display. At every turn, what was “best for me” was the motivation for company behavior. Without excusing my share of responsibility, I do claim to be highly distracted and emotionally needing to not feel alone in my recovery, which often didn’t go well.

I have since gained some clarity, spiritually and emotionally. For them, what was “best for me” was seen through the prism as an employee of a company while experiencing a catastrophic injury. Their responsibility was only financial, not just to me, but to their bottom line as well. It was in their best interest to know how I was doing and how that was playing out in my day-to-day life. The prospect of a lawsuit hangs over every Workers Compensation claim. It is no different in a company with values that align with an employee or not.

I recently arrived at a place where I understand that more clearly. I even said in one of our “check-ins” that I realized the company and I weren’t on the same page. The look on the HR representatives face told me I discovered something they have known all along but did not say.

Money, and its non-monetary value is apparent in many aspects of life. I have financial arrangements with family members, but if something in that arrangement fundamentally alters, we will still have a familial relationship. Likewise with my neighbors. If the property value of one of our houses brings down the property value of all of our houses, that is unfortunate, but we would still be neighbors.

But none of these facts changes the nature of the relationships, except for employer-employee. For those other relationships, money is the means to an end. At a job, money is the end. If I fail in making money for my employer, or my employer fails to pay my earned wages, then the relationship ends.

Promoting the idea that the workplace is familial is disingenuous, almost to the point of dishonest. Indeed, in some places, that idea is relied on so heavily as to be detrimental to the relationship and the cause of much stress and confusion. Instead of providing a healthy atmosphere, it creates an air of distrust.

It is vital to workplace mental health to remember that the relationship between an employer and employee is about the money.