I read somewhere that emotional trauma settles in the pelvis.

In February of 2024, I was involved in a workplace accident that resulted in multiple pelvis fractures. The event that caused the accident was a collapse of a metal pole that attached a gate to a solid fence. A small section of pipe that no one could foresee failing.

Pelvis fractures account for 3% of all adult fractures. Generally, pelvis fractures are accompanied by other serious injuries such as internal bleeding, organ damage or requiring surgery as a necessary step toward healing. I had no other major injuries. One of the doctors stated that considering the size and weight of the gate and how I came to be completely pinned under it, I was very lucky to escape with only the two fractures.

In March of 2023, I lost my closest companion of 13 years. Four months after that, his brother died, also a companion of mine. In October of that same year, I lost my soulmate of 40 years. Four days later, my sister passed away.

I entered 2024 carrying the weight of all that loss. The universe knew that the load would weigh me down in a way that I was likely never to escape it.The shattering of my heart was matched by the fracturing of my body. For 7 weeks, all I could do was think. I had to think about everything, every move I wanted or needed to make. Then had to figure out how that move was going to be made.

After the initial 7 weeks, I was allowed to start rebuilding my body. The severity of the injury dictated the speed of my recovery. It took 11 months for me feel as capable as I was before. It was in those 11 months that I learned the true depth of the trauma created by the losses of 2023.

Over 300 days of remembering and measure what is to what was. Over 8,000 hours of trying to navigate not just a new normal, but a whole new world. Over 482,000 minutes of the pain would go away but not wanting to forget. I had a different body to maneuver through the difficult passages of grief.

I bounced from internal trauma to structural trauma. I lived my days understanding the width of my loss, but not the depth. Sitting in the stillness of immobility, I began to see what I needed was what I had. My cores, emotional and physical, had been broken, but everything was still there, just occupying a different space differently.