I am a female working in a male dominated field.

I am not self-employed. I punch a time clock and someone other than myself is the issuer of my paycheck. But I do feel as if I work alone, in isolation.

I work in a male dominated industry. The pecentage of women in my industry range from 6-9%. Very male dominated. In my place of employment, I am the sole female in my department.

What I do is not reliant on extreme strength, or unique agility. Its pretty much equalized in terms of physical difficulty. I am small in stature, even for a woman. But I am good at my job. And have years of experience in my field.

But being the only at work in any diverse group is ripe with judgement about job performance. I am already singled out for being the solitary reperesentation of a certain group of people. We all make mistakes everyday. But the judgement comes because I am a woman doing a man’s job and apparently doing it poorly. At least that’s the look on my supervisors face. Even my peers are comfortable in their judgements. The smallest of mistakes brings a look, and or comment, of accusation.

Even with those who have are aware of my abililites still see me as a woman first, employee second, and an equal, third. Their offers to “help” aren’t that. They are indicators of a mindset.

Every job is not just an new opportunity to show who I am, it’s a situation where I will have to prove who I am. A man who walks in with my experience will not be questioned, will not be challenged. His experience would be enough of a statement of his abilities. Even after proving my abilities are equal to, or surpass, the task at hand, I still have to prove myself again for the next task. Proving myself is a part of my job. Everyday.